not a failure, just a glitch in the system.

so... i kind of took a cab today because i was running really late, but then to make up for that I walked home from times square, which is about 4 miles. Bleh. Oh well, that just leads me to another resolution-y thing. DON'T BE LATE!! the thing is, I want more than a resolution, the reason resolutions always fail is because they're missing a plan. I haven't figured out what my plan is to not be late yet so I'll wait on that.

But number 4 for now is a biggie... NO MORE GOSSIP. No talking shit, not spreading rumors, none of that. I will not say negative things about people to others unless they really, really, really, really, really, really deserve it. What does it solve? Nothing. Yay. Resolution. Don't talk shit. And don't complain either. No one likes negative people. be happy and talk about happy things. Yay happiness.

MORE more more

Here are some of my RIGHT NOW RESOLUTIONS!!!

1. NO MORE TAXIS. No. They are expensive and stupid. For the rest of break, I will only take a cab if it is absolutely vital to my safety or well being. Otherwise, you've got a Metrocard, Amelia, use it! Ooh, or Walk if its not negative 600 degrees. there's a novel idea!!

2. No more coffee. No grande tripple expresso shot sugar-free-vanilla soy lattes. None of that. It's all about the tea.

3. Well, this is going to take place at school but I guess I can get into the habit now. This is gonna be hard to stick to, really hard. But I want to set aside an hour every single day to do work. I'm going to be soooo busy especially if i do get a job (crossies) and with all my extra-curriculars on top of the insane workload. (Not to mention, I want to be social and party, sorry, I do.) So if I have a scheduled time where I must sit down and do work that would be useful. Like I'll put it in my planner and I can always "reschedule it" but it must be done, every day, one hour at least. If I'm done with work, get ahead. So over break I can spend that time working on my play. Okay maybe EVERY DAY is too extreme, but let's say 5 times a week. I'll give myself thursdays off because it's the end of the week the last thing I'm going to want to think about is homework. But I think its a good idea at any rate and a great habit to get into.

resolute.

I'm going to be honest, I've never been big on resolutions. I'm not sure why, I guess I just can never take them seriously, I try, but I never follow through. Plus I always feel like its so arbitrary, like what's the point of saying in November or December, "In 2010 I'm going to get into to shape and eat healthy" like... if you want to get into shape and eat healthy, why not start now?

I don't know. Okay this is going to sound weird, I'm not sure if I mentioned on here, but I had a reading done in London, which is something I've always wanted to do. (Actually, I'm pretty sure I did talk about it, but I guess I can repeat the part that's relevant to this) He talked about ridding myself of all the negative energy and negative people around me before the age of 21. 21 is a multiple of seven so it is an important birthday, and I need to clear myself of everything so the next seven years can go as smoothly as possible.

So I know New Years is a couple days away, but why not start right now? What can I do to enter into my 21st year (i guess I get a 2 week extension on New Years?) feeling good and feeling happy and positive?

Well I've been taking dance, but honestly I think I won't anymore, at least not at BDC. I like the class, love the teachers, love the studio, but there are a lot of people in the dance classes that make me feel negative. They come in with their perfect bodies, perfect flexibility, perfect balance, perfect coordination, and perfectly competitive and bitchy attitudes. And it's like... dude this is a "BASIC LEVEL CLASS" that's less than BEGINNER LEVEL!! Are they just there to show off? I don't get it. Either way it makes me feel bad about myself and I don't need that, I need to be clear of that. I do like their other classes though, I took this thing called "Gyrokenesis" I don't even know how to describe it was kind of like this rythmic yoga thing, but it was awesome, I could more or less follow, I don't think there were any stupid bitches in the class, and the teacher was amazing. I should start swimming again too. hmm...

money. I need to stop spending so much freaking money. I mean, most of it is on worthwhile things, but still, I can't just throw everything I've got to the Broadway stage, though at least its going to the arts and not like... I don't know, crack or something, right? But yeah, once I see everything I want to see, and maybe HAIR one or two more times then I need to chill. There is so much else ot do in the city, I don't need to be in Times Square every single night. I need to start looking for a job, too. I guess I can't really get one before I turn 21, but I can try to start looking, I mean, I really can't go much further than campus and marshall street since I don't have a car or anything, but hopefully there's something available. I reallllly want to work at starbucks!! But back to the resolutions thing. Instead of saying "when i go back to syracuse I'm going to stop spending so much money" I'm going to say right now, "I am going to stop spending so much money NOW." Stop it, Amelia.

Creativity. Now that I'm going to be seeing shows less often, I really should take the time to read, catch up on these films, Oh, and WRITE MY PLAY!! How great would that be if I could enter into my 21st year having a decent amount written of this play. That would be great. I also haven't made real art in a while, I should definitely keep up at it. I like taking voice lessons, but I may need to save some of that money. Same goes for guitar. meh.

No more putting shit into my body!! I haven't really drank much alcohol since London, so that's good, time to cleanse and all, right? I've also mostly switched from coffee to tea, though I suppose decaf tea would be even better. But hey, its a start. I just need to not eat junk food. cheese is bad, but it's so damn good. ah.. well we're working on it. and by we, I mean me. But you know, I'm not like going to deprive myself.

The Chroni-what-cles of Melia

I'm going to copy Frankie and Chronicle my vacation:

Films Seen:

Funny People (on the plane)

Nine (In theatres, with Stef and Andrew)

Fight Club

Blow

Good Will Hunting

Requiem for a Dream

Hedwig and the Angry Inch

Shawshank Redemption

A Clockwork Orange

One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

Avatar

Broken Embraces

Plays Seen:

HAIR - 12/18

HAIR - 12/19

Race - 12/23

HAIR - 12/24

Memphis - 12/26

Fela! - 12/26

Next to Normal - 12/29

Ragtime 12/30

Superior Donuts - 1/2

In the Heights 1/5

In the Next Room 1/8

Hair 1/9

Hair 1/13

Finian's Rainbow 1/13

In the Heights 1/14

Concerts Attended:

Jason Mraz and The Broadway Inspirational Voice at Feinstein's

2010: An Equality Odyssey at Joe's Pub

FLS at Ars Nova

Johnny Gallagher at the Rockwood

Mostly Sondheim at the Duplex

Lessons and classes:

Pilates 12/21

Voice - 12/21

AI Flexibility - 12/23

Gyrokinesis - 12/28

Basic Broadway Jazz - 12/29

Voice - 12/30

Basic Broadway Jazz - 12/31

Guitar - 1/3

Voice 1/7

Double Voice 1/11

Currently Reading: Beloved - Toni Morrison

and - The Three Uses of the Knife - David Mamet

sleep

I know a quieter New York. A New York where the only sound is the tap of your soles on the slushy winter pavement and the rustle of your double bagged over priced groceries against your thigh. I know a quieter New York where the engines and skidding tires and sirens and crowds are far out in the distance. I know a quieter New York where the "cheap colored lights" are dangled sporadically on the fire escapes of brown stones and on the high, high, windows of the taller buildings intertwined. I know a quieter New York where you don't need to wait for the traffic sign to change because the nearest yellow cab is miles and miles away. I know a quieter New York where the wind slashes your face so brutally that you're forced to take a deep breath and remember just how much you love this place. I know a quieter New York, where I could walk for miles and mile and always stay calm. My New York.

blahg

i used to love blogging, but now i honestly find it such a hassle and so... well, contrived. I don't know. I think I loved it back in the day on Xanga when EVERYONE had a xanga, and if you didn't have a xanga, you had a live journal.... and everyone READ everyone's xanga. REALLY read, commented, was interested, couldn't wait for their friends to write the next post, actively took silly quizzes and surveys, I don't know... the whole xanga community thing just worked...

But that's all died. No one reads anyone else's blog anymore, at least I don't think so. It just seems like they skim through and leave comments in hopes that the favor will be returned. Hell, I'm guilty of that from time to time. I don't know, I guess I just like to know that I have readers and that they care what I have to say, because otherwise what's the point of a blog, right? If I wanted to write to just myself I would do that in my journal.

I don't know, I'm not really sure what I'm getting at, i just feel like we've ventured far out into a world of apathy.

i need...

to start writing a play. I'm taking playwriting next semester and I need to get started now, I don't want to come into that class empty handed and with nothing.

So why am I drawing this blank? For someone who considers "passion" to be one of her greatest attributes and someone who constantly feels compelled to write, and unstoppable urge... why can I think of nothing? Themes and Concepts are sort of floating around the air, brushing me by and waiting to be grabbed, but characters and plot lines are just galaxies away from me.

What do I care about? What do I want to write about? No... what do I need to write about? That's it, that's when you know. A friend, a musician, singer/songwriter, asked recently for suggestions for his next song. I gave him a few ideas but then said, "But at the end of the day, with songwriting like any other writing others can only inspire you because passion is the only thing that will help you write or it will just sound random and contrived. I'm sure you've had this feeling before... when there is something you NEED to write about, you will know."

So I hold myself to that too... I guess I just hope I find something that I NEED to write about soon. I hope I find inspiration soon.

That being said I have a few ideas, I just don't know where I'm going with them: Obsession, that's a big one. I really want to write about obsession. Compassion, Independence, Connection. Yes, Connection. Connection, the hurt of disconnection, potentially leading to obsession or perhaps independence

My "creative non-fiction" professor this semester told us that the one thing that will make our pieces better is research. I need to research, learn more, discover.

It's gonna be a long road, but I'm willing to take the hike and hopefully build some stronger muscles along the way, after tackling the harder uphill climbs.

mraz-tastic

I wish my blog was as cool as Jason Mraz's blog. Well, let's be honest here, I wish i was as cool as Jason Mraz. He always has something important to say. His mind just works in such an interesting, beautiful way, his observations just really make you think. I'm much too lazy to write anything cool ever. I like his grip on life. I like his talent. I can't wait to finally see him perform live in exactly a week. I really, really, really hope I get to meet him!!

I'm reading "He's just not that into you" I don't know if I find it helpful or not yet. I need a good slap in the face so i guess it's kind of up to me to take it as such? Either way, its very truthful, kind of interesting, and definitely entertaining. Boys are assholes. Sorry boys, some of you are okay. I'm just over it.

London... 3 more days, freaking nuts. I can't believe its so close to being done. I'm definitely going to miss it a lot. I just hope that I don't regret anything, I'm really trying my best to make the most of it here.

well... on to studying for my one last final, which is on wednesday, perhaps I will come back later with something cool and intelligent to say... jason mraz style.