...

so much work, and in pain. no fun.

That being said, here are some things that make me smile.

Hot chocolate.

Freshly fallen snow, in NYC.

New York City.

Hugs.

Stuffed animals.

Puppies.

Friends.

Ice skating.

Smiles.

Compassion.

Caring.

Understanding.

Thoughtful advice.

Connections.

NOT the christmas songs that Starbucks is currently playing on repeat, it may be time to whip out the headphones soon.

music.

musicals.

plays.

books.

naps.

sleep.

thansgiving

we don't have that here :-(

soaring, flying

So i had a revelation on a swing today. I went for a run in Regents Park (shocking, I know!) and I came across a playground. And surprisingly enough this one didn't have a security guard in front of it requiring you to have a child with you if you're going inside.

I love swings, so naturally I decided to go on one, I mean I was by myself so who's judging? It's not like there was anyone on them. I like swings because you can really just let go. And it was on this swing that I realized swings are a metaphor of life. Or at the very least some challenge or another (for example, oh I don't know, running!)

In order to get up in the air, you need a lift. Sure, someone can push you, but when you're my age and height, you're pretty capable of doing it by yourself. The harder you push yourself off the ground, the higher you will fly. And the higher you get the easier the work is, by the time you've reached the top you don't even realize that you're working anymore even though your legs are still kicking. But be careful! If you try to swing too high you'll fall off and break your neck!

anyway, I thought that was cute or something.

me

I've been thinking a lot about change, about self, about personality. In an imaginary dialogue (I have those a lot) with an old friend, I said to him, "you know, I've changed a lot since you last saw me, I'm not the same girl I was in 8th grade." But even though I've changed, I'm still "me." But who am I? and how exactly have I changed?

Well for one thing I've become more confident, less sensitive, less prude, more artistic, less religious, more spiritual, less of a pushover, less naive, a little more critical, less optimistic, more realistic, less materialistic, more adventurous.

But I'm still generous, I still think of others before myself, I'm still really quirky, still passionate, still paranoid (though I'm hoping that one isn't innate and can change.)

The other day, I put these thoughts to the test. I saw on mediabistro.com an event in London, Schmooze and Booze, a networking happy hour at a bar in shoredich for journalists ad PR reps. I went alone, not knowing a soul, not knowing what to expect and had an amazing time. I met tons of people, had a few drinks, just was completely myself. Because what did I have to lose? I was never going to see these people again! I would love to do stuff like that more often.

Livuhpool

-wrote this on the bus back-

Had a really awesome time, went to the local pub with Tina, Karina, Jocie, Fiona, and Becca. Watched a bit of Final Destination 2 but got creeped out and went to bed.

The next day Tina took me around the Liverpool center. I bought an awesome shirt at Dorothy Perkins, some makeup, wings, and red haiirspray for my costume (dark angel)

Then we went down to Matthew Street aka Beatles Central and saw "The Cavern Club" which is where the Beatles got their start, and all sorts of other cool places.

We got ready at Karina's. Jocie, Becky, Snookie, Tom, and Sophie came over too. IT was really great to see everyone!

The reunion was fun, corky had lots of food, which I ate way too much of, but whateber, it was good. lots of drinking, catching up, snookie played us some songs, which is always awesome. The singing and Cheering wah-0nee style was definithe the best part. It was really nice to see everyone again, and I feel like Halloween was the perfect occasion to do so. Corky's dad was quite the character too. Only in Liverpool.

I slept on an enourmous orange stuffed fish, as a mattress... sexy.

Hung out with Karina for a while on Sunday w/ Sophie too, which was really nice. And on the way back we passed Penny lane, which obviously made me really happy.

Now I have a six million hour bus ride home woohoo. Love that I can call London "home."

alrighty then

I've been working on a few blog posts (on paper) and i realized that I do not need to write about every single little detail about every single trip but an overview and highlights is probably less boredom inducing and more importantly (since this is my blog so i can be a little selfish) a hell of a lot less strenuous to write.

That being said, The rest of Berlin, Paris, Nice, and Liverpool updates are soon to come but now what I do best... a blog on thoughts.

So the semester is already more than 1/2 way through, which is quite scary actually, and a bit sad. I've been trying to take as much advantage as I can of being here. I want to travel a lot because I never have before and there are so many places that I want to see, but I don't want to go home thinking "I can't believe I didn't do [such and such] while I was living in London for 4 months." So right now is really about taking advantage of everything.

That being said, I came to London wanting to change, I wanted to come home having changed for the better in lots of different ways. So midway through I ask myself, well? have I changed? What has this experience done for me? Is there room in the few weeks I have left for further self-improvement? Is it possible to have gotten nothing out of it besides a good time? Hell, i pray Emerson was wrong on that one.

My guess is there's no way to know until I get home and the best bet is to use the little time I have left to motivate myself to strive further.

I do know one thing though, I think the travelling and little tid bits of facts here and there have really increased my curiosity. There is so much that I want to learn, so much that I want to know.

I want to learn how speak french fluently.
I want to know more about WWII, fascism, and the holocaust.
I want to know more about the History of the Beatles.
I want to learn how to play guitar.
I want to learn to cook better.

I want to learn more about my heritage and genealogy.

I want to learn about holistic medicine.

I want to learn massage therapy.

I want to know more about theatre.
I don't know, those are just the first random things I could think of off the top of my head.

And so much I want to do and see. and be.
I have developed a yearning for learning. (I'm sorry, I just had to put the corny rhyme in there)