argh!

Today I wanted nothing more than to just go to my [imaginary] little apartment in new york city, with the snow dancing outside the window, and just watch a couple hours of tv, do some writing, a bit of reading, then go to sleep at a decent hour. 

But instead I had to go back to my dorm, catch up on fifteen spanish homework sheets, study for my spanish test tomorrow, work on my logo project for graphics, study for my current events quiz tomorrow, a test on the fourth that i didn't even know about, 6 chapters to catch up on in my incredibly dense theory of religion, culture, and theology course, a paper on that course, a big project for communications coming up,  "eighty lines of virgil, sixteen equations"... you get the idea.

Sometimes I wonder if I am losing sight up what is really important. All these projects and tests and papers, they mean everything for my grade, my gpa, my degree, but then what? But is it worth it? I am so overwhelmed. And what do I do about it? I procrastinate and instead of doing it, rant about it in a blog. I hardly sleep anymore. I'm definitely getting sick. 

In times like this, I really just want to go home. 

Let's Take a Moment...

to celebrate green tea. 

green tea with honey is. 

sweet

minty

refreshing 

warm

delectable, no?

even if we miss the train we'll get somewhere...

"Here's a sad song for the end

A toast to all your friends

The big things that they said to make us laugh

While we were dreaming

We watched the setting sun

Thought it might be fun to see the world

Behind your colored eyes"

Such a wonderful weekend...

now i just need to get some work done. 

harmony

I need

inspiration

motivation

power

peace within myself

"music, food of love, emotion, mathamatics, isolation, rhythm, power, feeling, harmony, and heavy competition, anarchy, revolution, justice, screaming for solutions, forcing changes, risk, and danger, making noise, and making pleas" - I miss that.

Procrastination is bliss...

until, of course, you realize that you have royally screwed yourself over. But alas... 

It's strange though, when I avoid doing my work, and am not on facebook I like to organize. It can be anything, usually not something that is worthwhile like cleaning my room. Sometime I organize the work that I have to do, which makes me feel accomplished because it's work-related even though I'm not actually accomplishing work. I also like to make lists, it's something I've done for a long time. I have many of the same lists that I've written over and over when avoiding work, such as people I have met through rent or actors i've seen in certain roles or things that make me happy etc. 

So the organization / list that is being brought to you to day is really more for me than you, but feel free to comment if you have any input. 

Broadway shows that I would like to see:

Say what you want, I'm still interested to see what it's all about. At the most it'll be catchy, fun, and cute, and at the least it'll be something I can laugh at. -edit- the more i think about this the less i really want to see it. 

The fact that I haven't seen this already is a problem in and of itself. 

and i have tickets! yay!

farce is fun, and mark rylance is awesome. However, I heard that all of their discount tickets are really crappy seats. 

I'm sorry but anyone who says that they aren't at least CURIOUS about this show is lying.

Raul Esparza is reason enough to see any show.

I just love everything that I've read by Arthur Miller, but don't recall ever seeing any of his work live, at least not professionally. 

Shows that are not open yet but that i will want to see when they are:

Shows that I have already seen but would love to see again:

Off-Broadway shows that strike my interest:

just breathe...

my roommate and i just did this 

would have been better if it wasn't online, but it was still nice.

http://www.swamij.com/Sounds/7MinuteMeditation24.mp3

barackandroll

(I did not take this photograph, but only because I didn't think of doing so before sealing the envelope)

New York City, Center of the Universe

As expected, the city was like a breathe of fresh air for me. (Ironic? Maybe. I should ask Jeff about that one) 

Anyways, I had a great time, seeing friends, seeing shows, being nostalgic, just living.  I'm going to miss it again. 

On a brighter note, I get to see James.Heather.James in less than 2 weeks :-)

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city of neon and chrone

Today, I go on a four and a half hour journey back to the place I call "home." 

That place is New York City. 

When I am at school, in the ever-so-uneventful city of Syracuse, I miss New York more than anything.

It is more than just my home. It is my friend, my comfort zone, my sanctuary. 

There is something about the busy streets, the chaos, the calamity, the never ending flow that just makes me feel so at peace with myself. Sounds crazy, I know. Most people find it hectic and unbearable, but to me there is a calm within the storm.

A couple years ago, I went to visit my Aunt and Uncle northern Westchester. There were countless white houses all looking the same as the next surrounded by a plethora of woods and acres of unused land. Everything was still. My mother commented, "It's as if time is standing still." Which is precisely my issue with it. Time does not stand still. Time is rapidly moving. Time is a precious thing. And to me I can not afford to waste a second. I need to constantly be moving, constantly be doing something. I don't hate anything more than wasting time. [DISCLAIMER] of course, it must be said, that one needs to rest. One needs to stop, mediate, relax, spend time alone, breathe. I am definitely an appreciator of nature and cherish my time away from urban culture. However, when I am home, that is when I live. Perhaps I feel this way because it is how I grew up. but I have come to not only love it, but need it as well. 

So as you can see, I don't just miss the place where I grew up, but I miss being surrounded by fast-paced movement. I miss the endless pulse that you just can't get anywhere else. (Well, perhaps in cities abroad that I have yet to visit, but as of now, it's the greatest place I know.)

One thing that I miss the most is taking long walks around the village. There are so many remarkable sites that can be found there. I love to just dilly dally around aimlessly with a camera and capture anything that catches my eye, and a notebook to jot down places I'd like to remember. I love to make new discoveries too. Some of the best coffee shops and pizza places are little holes in the wall that most people simply walk past.

Here are a few of my favorite village excursion photographs:

Of course there is more to the city than the village... times square would be an entirely new entry, and perhaps will be. But that's just the thing. There is everything in the city, and at your finger tips too. A 5 minute subway ride can take you to an entirely different world. Places are always open late at night and there is always a place to go or something to see.

One thing that being away at school has taught me is to really appreciate the city. As much as I miss it, every time that I am home I can truly take advantage of what it has to offer.

Because I'm not doing work anyway...

Sky

It's not that often that a friend comes along and changes your thought, your point of view, your life. And when this happens it is a very special thing and should not be taken advantage of. I don't think that Stef realizes how much of an impact she has had on my art and my way of thinking. 

Stef is a very beautiful human being. She is humble, she is modest, and most importantly she cares about the happiness of others. She reminds me of how I used to be and how I want to be again. Thank you, Stef, for reminding that there are people in this world who aren't selfish.

Thank you for reminding me to appreciate the beauty in this world. Thank you for making me look at the sky

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Art

I miss taking art classes.  I can't remember the last time that I used water colors. Water coloring is one of my favorite media. There is so much you can do with it. I am not one of those paint-a-white-canvas-white-modern-artists. By any stretch. I will be the first to admit that many of my abstract designs have no symbolic meaning. But, I think that they say something about the artist. I mean, they have to. I came up with whatever it is that i drew so therefore subconsciously it has to resemble something that I have seen somewhere. Sort of like dreams. I find dreams incredibly fascinating, I think they can tell a lot about a person or at least his or her emotions. But yes, watercolor. I love how they just flow and mixing colors is the best. There is such an array of beautiful combinations that you can create. 

I define myself as an artist. That doesn't mean I do art professionally, it means that I see things artistically. The only thing that makes me happier than creating art is creating art with a purpose. I am a believer that art can change the world. Since I don't have art in my schedule I doodle like crazy. Sometimes when I am drawing instead of doing my homework I ask myself "what am i doing? why am i not studying art?" At the risk of sounding immodest, sometimes I feel like by not pursuing an art career I am wasting my talent. But art will always be a part of my life. I know that I will never stop creating and I wouldn't have it any other way. 

YI would also like to thank Meg for inspiring me to start writing again, and to keep making artY