So I was finally able to upload some of my artwork...

Happy Thanksgiving!

Thinking different thoughts than you have ever thought before, Amelia, is the only path to answers, healing, new jeans, or anything that glitters.

And you know how good you look in new jeans...

The Universe

Well, I did just buy new jeans. Two pairs actually, and the sale was buy one pair of jeans get any item of cheaper or equal value half off, and the 2nd pair was already 50% off so basically I got my jeans for 75% off, which is pretty darn sweet.  

Not that you guys care about my jeans. 

So I'm probably supposed to make this blog about everything I'm thankful for and blah de dah, but I'm not going to. I am thankful for a lot of things, I just don't really feel the great need to vocalize them, or in this case... literalize(?) them (yeah, that's definitely not the right word, but hey I'm okay with it) But anyway thank YOU for reading my blog. and have a very joyous thanksgiving.

And also go see Billy Elliot!

yay analogies

This morning i felt like one of those popsicles that has a hard chocolate shell on the outside and vanilla ice cream in the middle.

 

This is what I mean... I have been stressed out enough as is, and I have just been so frustrated with computers and everything that I do getting deleted that I've begun to build a shell, almost feel numb about anything else that goes wrong. Someone complimented how calm I was being about a situation, but I was only calm because I was so overwhelmed that I wasn't even thinking about it. So I think of this ice cream as my vulnerability. I've built this shell up against any small extra thing that might occur, but if something were strong enough to severely puncture it or if enough small things joined together and built up, the ice cream would surface and I would be a complete mess.

Now that I have handed in my project though, I feel a little bit better. 

I feel like this blog has been going all sorts of weird directions, but hey, that's okay. It's my blog I can do whatever I want with it, and if you don't like it then don't read it. But I hope you do like it. Does anyone read this anyway? I like comments. A lot. They make me happy, show me some one is actually paying attention. I like that. 

I don't know if I'm more excited about going home to new york or about the fact that this dreadful week will finally be over and I will have some time off. Just two more classes to get through. You can do this, Amelia. 

In other news I am now an official brother of APO, these are my letters, they're pretty and I love them :-)

 For those of you who don't know APO (Alpha Phi Omega) is a co-ed community service fraternity that I pledged this semester. And honestly I couldn't be happier with it. Everyone in APO is so amazing. I mean I figure you have to be at least somewhat nice if you're joining a service organization, right? But seriously it's really just what I needed. It has that sense of community and brotherhood without all the drama and materialism that some (NOT ALL!) sororities possess. This really was the perfect organization for me to join and I'm so glad that I did. If anyone has this at their schools I would highly recommend looking into it. 

The most amazing time was a couple weeks ago, we played kickball against the Binghamton chapter of APO (theta kappa, I believe) and it was raining out we played on the quad in the mud, we looked absolutely vile by the time we were done, but it was honestly the most intense game ever and we all had so much fun.

And also I've always loved doing community service. Anyone who knows me can attest to (for?) the fact that I care a lot about other people and want to spend my time helping them in any way I can. And honestly, what better way than to do it with friends? No. brothers! 

I can't wait to get closer to everyone and I'm so excited to get a little next semester. There is so much ahead of me with this, I just hope that I don't fall behind in work by doing APO stuff instead. Shouldn't be a problem though because I have a very easy schedule next semester. 

Sometimes I feel like I don't have a partner

Sometimes I feel like my only friend

Is the city I live in, the city of angels

Lonely as I am, together we cry

this time then

so meg's blog inspired me to do what i spent much of last year doing. that is to look at my old xanga entries and see what i was up to "this time last year"

I wasn't really blogging much this time last year, and this time two years ago i just posted a lot of surveys and games. 

This time 2005 i wrote "so stressed out you actually have no idea. "

oh man, past amelia, if only you knew.

seriously though this week has been insane. I've had a breakdown like every few hours usually because i can't find something important or because the computer decided to delete yet ANOTHER thing that i just finished and worked hours on. good times, man, good times. 

aw i was also at model congress about this time. I miss that. it sounds dorky i know, but so much fun. And anyway if you have a problem with dorky then you probably just shouldn't be friends with me :-) I was also obsessing over rocky horror this time 2005. I still do love rocky horror. 

Dear Universe...

Amelia, for those who are truly enlightened, they have but to open their eyes upon making a "wish," to see the entire Universe conspiring on their behalf.

For those not so enlightened, it's the exact same, except upon opening their eyes, they usually just see "stuff"... and so they lose faith, forget to give thanks, and are just too frightened to "buy the shoes."

Such a pity.
Tallyho,
The Universe

Dear Universe,
I think that i may fall into the latter category.
What should I do?

From,
Amelia

seriously though, i'm having the worst day ever. worst week. please, please, please why can't it be friday? I JUST WANT TO SLEEP. Dammit. I need a freakin nap

was out i out of my head, was I out of my mind?

I have so much work to do and so little desire to do it. 

It is gorgeous outside right now, I took a walk before so that was nice. 

I don't get the weather here one day its snowing and the next you want to go to the beach.

I don't get it. 

I'm trying to convince my parents to let me go to Puerto Rico for a week during winter break. I would stay with a friend who lives there and that would be a lot of fun. Then again, I don' know when a good time would be since I have a lot going on in the city. Which is good. I love being able to spend time home. 

I'm also trying to figure out stuff about going abroad. I was originally set on going to London in the fall, but there are so many other options to consider. There's spring, fall, spring and fall, spring in one place, fall in another... it gets expensive though. Especially Europe. So I'm considering London, Florence, Madrid, and Santiago through SU abroad or Paris through world partners. I'm excited though. And nervous. I've never really been anywhere (besides Latin America and the Carribean, but never a place like Europe) 

I also have to pick course.

I also have to do work. I hate work. I have SO much catching up to do in Spanish, like... it's not even funny. 

Oh and graphics. So I woke up early, go to the computer lab by 8:00 AM worked NONSTOP until 9:30. Completely finished my Magazine Cover Spread, and it looked really really good. So I clicked save... you know the button that is supposed to save your work? And what does it do? DELETES EVERYTHING I'VE DONE. There was o way to revie it. I was so mad. Like that just sucks. It's also time I could have spent catching up on spanish, or doing my com107 project, or you know, sleeping. But no. And now I have to do i all again. LSIFLSFJLSFKLFSOOIHSFHIOFS!!!

The Sword of Damocles is Hanging Over my Head

and I've got the feeling someone's gonna be cutting the thread... oh, woa is me. My life is a misery. Ooooh can't you see, that I'm at the start of a pretty big downer?

Things I'm loving... because I've been focusing too much on things I'm hating.

1. Tazo Zen Green Tea with Honey

2. My Uggs... say what you won't the may be heinous, but they are comfy as hell

3. Funk n' Waffles

4. The fact that the spring standards will be at Joe's Pub on January 2nd

5. That I got an A on paper that I started at 4am and finished at 8am, with the comment, "This is a superior response, Amelia. One of your best. Thank You."

that's all I can think of right now.

Always, Amelia, when you just don't know what you want, want happiness, 

and when you just don't know what to do, do anything. 

You can start today 

- The Universe

the one good thing about syracuse

...

the worst part is that they probably don't even realize they are hurting him. 

there's a shadow hanging over me

Yesterday

all my troubles seemed so far away

Now it looks as though they're here to stay

Oh I believe in yesterday

Suddenly

I'm not half the man I used to be

there's a shadow hanging over me

Oh yesterday came suddenly

Why she had to go I don't know 

she wouldn't say

I said something wrong

Now I long for yesterday

Yesterday

love was such an easy game to play

now i need a place to hide away

oh I believe in yesterday

Why she I had to go I don't know

she wouldn't say

I said something wrong

Now I long for yesterday

Yesterday

Love was such an easy game to play

Now I need a place to hide away

Oh I believe in yesterday...

See the world spinning round

Day after day, alone on the hill,
The man with the foolish grin is keeping perfectly still.
But nobody wants to know him,
They can see that he's just a fool.
And he never gives an answer .....

But the fool on the hill,
Sees the sun going down.
And the eyes in his head,
See the world spinning around.

Well on his way, his head in a cloud,
The man of a thousand voices, talking perfectly loud.
But nobody ever hears him,
Or the sound he appears to make.
And he never seems to notice .....

But the fool on the hill,
Sees the sun going down.
And the eyes in his head,
See the world spinning around.

And nobody seems to like him,
They can tell what he wants to do.
And he never shows his feelings,

But the fool on the hill,
Sees the sun going down.
And the eyes in his head,
See the world spinning around.

SO MUCH FREAKING WORK

somehow, some way, I will get it done.

I just need more motivation.

I just have so much to do and a lot of it is tedious and really dense. 

It's rather daunting when I think about what I have to do in the little time I have to do it.

WE DID IT!!!!!!!!

so nervous

so very nervous. 

Just let it out.