Okay, done.
seven things I'm looking forward to:
1. My 21st Birthday :-)
2. Chad coming to visit
3. Seeing Johnny play at the rockwood (and being legal for it!)
4. Going to mostly sondheim
5. Heading back to the cuse after being away for 8 months
6. final (double) voice lesson before i head back
7. having my own room in the cuse and a kitchen, and not living in doors business
that didn't really make me feel better, what's wrong with me?
Now I'm complaining about complaining too much.
I looked recently at my old xanga again and I was bantering on about some of the exact same stuff I still ramble on about today. Have I really not changed that much since highschool? that can't be true.
Like looking back (and I'll post a few in a sec) why must I always be so damn self-loathing and self-pitying. My life really isn't that bad, hell I know that! then change, amelia I keep trying to tell myself, but change is hard for me, it always has been. I'm in for a massive change though... I have to be. I've yearned to change for so long. I like stuff about myself, but overall I'm not happy with myself. I need to learn to be, I guess.
April 1, 2008: I need to learn how to not be paranoid and not think so much.
it;s really something that I need to work on.le sigh.
yup, still need work in that department...
August 26, 2007: I deleted him off my buddy list. Done. Goodbye. Never again. WHAT??? gone.
Whoever that was (and I think I have a pretty good idea who it may have been) I am sure a few weeks later I un-gotover him, added him back on my buddy list bc I figured seeing his name would be better than constantly wondering if he's online. fuck. I still do that.
May 25, 2007: i miss having friends...
not that they were real friends anyway.
There we go with the self loathing again
blah... well new birthday, new semester, new beginnings... none of this winging business anymore.
I'd also like to say 2006 was a great year. wish i could "find a way back to then"
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