i know what i want... just not how to get it

I want someone who I can call just to tell him that I miss him and not have to worry about being awkward, or sounding like I'm too clingy... or desperate... Just an innocent remark. I want someone who I can call and say I miss and who will appreciate the call and tell me he misses me too. I want someone who will call me just to tell me he misses me. I want someone to miss me. 

Some people... are ALWAYS in relationships, I don't get it. They go from boyfriend to boyfriend to boyfriend (or girlfriend, whatever.) I don't get it. Then there are some of us who feel like we're going to stay single forever. It's a horrible feeling, I don't recommend it. 

I can't remember the last time I was truly happy. I want to be happy again. I don't know what's wrong with me but I don't like it and I don't know how to fix it. 

Perhaps that's why so many dumb miniscule problems seem to be a much bigger deal than they truly are, because they are occurring over a general unhappiness. A general blue. 

I want to change, but I don't feel the motivation. I hope I will change in London. For the better. I need to.